"I'm not just some kind of a whore to you, am I?"
"You're not...Not in a million years..."
"You're not...Not in a million years..."
...But I feel like I am, whenever we go out, go straight to the action in some dark, discreet rendezvous, and he would have to drop me off quickly after that. Nothing worse than a wham-bam-thank-you-mam after-sex upshot, for a woman who's so into his man.
The other week we spent a couple of hours by that shore, just talking and kissing a bit. But mostly talking. It was way more gratifying for me, than perhaps a hundred quickies in bed. But I do understand him, our situation. As much as I would want to sulk and demand, I know I will have to understand and consider these little inconveniences.
Until when? I do not know. I can either stop now, while I still can, or just allow myself to get lost in the present moment, learn from it later. I am inclined to consider the latter. I can't seem to get enough of him...at least not yet. I think about him all the time, well, most of the time. And I automatically heat up every time. It's like there's a push button in my brain that connects his name to my vasopressin and oxytocin supply...funny, but that's how raw and primal it always goes.
I want him right now. I don't want to think of the days to come. They will come, I know. But I am just weary of it...Will I have strength to say no later? Should I be the first to say no? Or is he just waiting for me to say no? Will he get tired of me? Will he go get another new girl soon enough?
Not in a million years...does that mean forever? How?
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