How can you be so sure, so absolute? Whoever wrote this doesn't know everything. Hey, I spread my legs to a married man and no, he didn't go back home to his wife. Because his wife is a money hungry lunatic bitch who only wanted his money and nothing else. Yes, he LEFT HIS WIFE for ME. Well, maybe yes, I am most likely not the only one. I caught the bastard several times. But I am that woman now, he comes home to no matter what. I won't settle for that. I catch him again and he loses his penis forever that I swear. I am definitely part of his future. Because he doesn't go anywhere else but by my side. So stop dreaming you stupid bitch who wrote this. All you wives who believe in this, dream on. I am a wife, too, and I left my husband because he's got one too many women, through the years he just would not stop. I know all that kind of pain, so stop talking like you know everything. You only know that part of the pain. You have never been in the situation where you spread your legs for a married man not just because you're plain horny but because you are too deeply in love with each other. Listen carefully. He left you because he didn't truly love you. LOVE. You haven't experienced that obviously so stop talking and advising others girls like you know everything. Stupid. If you are that woman who spread your legs for a married man and he left you and he went on to the next, then he didn't fall in love with you stupid. 

My life alone right now, is punishment enough. Been thinking of that the past weeks. Gina reflect ko. I let it seep through me. Sin-o gid ko nga indi maka agi gaba? Sino gid ko nga indi maka agi sang amo ni nga kasakit? Sa pains and rejection nga gin agyan ko growing up, somehow naka develop ko defense mechanism, na indi ko masakitan, or at least, indi ko sang iban makita nga gakasakitan. Strong ko kuno. Bagsik. Independent. Resilient. A few of the adjectives that I hear from friends and enemies alike. Gin maintian ko na man lang na. Kay kapila na ga express ko nga indi ko na kaya, wala man may ga sapak sa akon. When I reached that point when ma suicide na ko, no one saved me, but God. And he sent me you. Miskin sala. Miskin indi pwede. Miskin kita nya diri gid man ta subong mapakadto. So ang tanan ni subong nga kalbaryo nga gina agyan ko sa imo, result ma lang ni sang pag pa milit ko sa Diyos, that he give me you. That he show me you. So amo na ni akon punishment. Indi na lang ko magreklamo. Indi naman ko mag tingog. Hulaton ang kamatayon. Sang tanan tanan. Through the years grabe akon effort, wala ma lang result. Ako man gyapon malain. Bigaon, lain batasan. Tanan na. Ngaa ma effort pa ko. Indi man ni relationship nga gina tawag. So parumatay. Asta ma patay. Asta siguro maka kita hope, ray of light, way out, exit. Ambot. I just feel numb right now. Zombie.

He is right. Abnormal ko. Indi ko kabalo mag love. Damo problema sa pagkatawo ko. Maybe budlay budlay gid man ko ya palanggaon. Right now I am trying to look around me. Tanan sila, may reklamo man gid sa akon a. Dira na lang ko anay ma focus subong  para indi ko matam an sa sakit. Sino gid ko be? Isa ma lang ko ka ultimo nga abnormal. Sino gid ko para indi masakitan. Sino gid ko para mag demand. Reyna? Reyna. Yes he calls me his queen. Daw indi gid na guro tuod. Only my father has the right to call me his queen. In so many ways he made me feel that I am. With you? I am a slave. A very oppressed slave.

I feel so cheap. Lain lain sang pamatyag nga ang ga sige sa akon hambal "bigaon" ang lalake nga gina palangga ko kag gin saligan ko with my life. Confuse na ko. Daw ikaw man klaro nadakpan sa pila ka mga events. Sige miskin wala na to ang iban, miskin sa bata na lang ni Juting. What was that about? Asta subong wala na na solve kay ma deny ka ma lang. How can you deny something like that, nga ang biktima mismo ang ga sugid? Ngaa subong ako ang bigaon? Lain lain na gid. I'm afraid isa ni sya sa mga rason nga ma amat amat na lang gid ko palayo sa imo. Daw ka indi na ma repair. Only God and his mercy can restore anything we have left.

Diri ko na lang subong ehambal tanan nga ara sa dughan ko. Otherwise, awayon mo lang ko tudo kon ehambal ko ni in a conversation. Sakit sakit na gid. Actually kon anger lang kag hatred sa imo, gapalang lapaw na guro. Pero gina tame ko sakon self, for the sake of my son. Asta nga ara ka sa balay, asta nga matultulan mo amon balay kag sang pamilya ko, kaya mo lang gid kami halitan. Kasubo no? Try basaha ang sugod sugod sang sini nga blog. Try to see kon diin da ang gina hambal mo nga love. Ngaa nag reach ta di nga point? I know na kon ano sabat mo. Akon tanan sala. Grabe no? Miskin gamay lang, indi mo kaya mag reflect, halin sa sugod sugod, kon diin kag paano ta nag sugod? You think miskin gamay wala ka gid contribution sa pasunod sang aton storya? Who first hurt who? Yet again, should it matter for two people in love? Ngaa kada mag express ko sang akon hurt, ngaa sabat mo dayon akon na sala tanan because sang tanan ko nga nahambal sa imo. I feel helpless. I cannot get through to you na. That's why sulat ko nlang di. Someday you won't have any choice but to read this. Because someday I will be gone and you will be too desperate to find out what happened. So basahon mo ni.

I will wait for that day nga ma free na ko sa imo. Maybe kon dako na bata ko and kaya nya na ko e protect, or kaya nya na e protect iya self. Dra na ko mabato sa imo. Kaya ta gid ka dunuton. Kaya ta ka pa igudon in ways nga indi mo ma imagine. For now, I will wait. I will pray for your healing. I will hope. Until such time...

nahisa ko sa mga couple nga sadya. nahisa ko sa mga couple nga ga intindihanay. kasadya sa ila. daw wala lang sila problema. may ara man may problema pero obvioulsy they face it together. ako damo man palpak. damo man ko sala. pero subong ga learn na ko. na dudla na ko. i hope tani maka apas ka sa akon. you've been lagging behind na. i wonder kng kaya ko pa maghulat.

kasubo nga ari na ko now sa point nga wala na ko nahidlaw sa imo. kay ang imo presence means fear. kahadlok, stress,  means mapa ayon naman ko. kag ka super kapoy na. my heart grieves nga wala ta na ka gina long. i know this is temporary. i know that too well. i know this is just because we are both so broken nga we both need time to mend. i hope you get that time to mend. tanan naman gin express ko na sa imo. tanan ko na desires, tanan ko nga nahidlawan sa imo. tanan na lang. kag gina acknowledge mo man. galing kay te amo lang na, wala man action as for your part. you've become so very passive kag kabudlay man na galing sa relationship kng passive ka. we need to take part actively tani. for now amo na ang situation ta.please listen to it with your heart.