I want to forget everything. I want to keep away anything that could remind me of you. I wish I'll have amnesia. I wish I'll go mad. How can your past not hurt me? How can it not torture me in ways that you will never know? I want to run away where it could not haunt me, where even your present cannot find me. I want to run away where pain cannot reach me and abuse me some more.

There have been a lot of inconsistencies in the things you've been telling me...how could I trust you. And what will I profit from it anyway? I am falling so madly in love with you I'm getting out of control. I am panicking at the thought of it. I cannot stay this way. I have to get out. Before I lose my mind.

run to you

I know that when you look at me
There's so much that you just don't see
But if you only take the time
I know in my heart you'll find
Oh, a girl who's scared sometimes
Who isn't always strong, can't you see the hurt in me?
I feel so all alone

Chorus
I wanna run to you hoo hoo
I wanna run to you hoo hoo hoo
Won't you hold me in your arms
And keep me safe from harm?
I wanna run to you hoo hoo
But if I come to you hoo hoo hoo hoo
Tell me will you stay or will you run away

Each day, each day I play the role
Of someone always in control
But at night, I come home and turn the key
There's nobody there, no one cares for me
Oh, what's the sense
Of trying hard to find your dreams
Without someone to share it with
Tell me what does it mean

(repeat chorus)

Run away no
I need you here
I need you here to wipe away my tears
To kiss away my fears
If you only knew, how much I wanna run to you

(repeat chorus)

I'm really clingy when I fall in love. I constantly have this need to connect and I cannot tolerate unfeeling, halfhearted responses when I try to get in touch. Problem with me is I easily get bored and then I lose my zest. A sucker for sentimentality, I live in a dreamland almost always. Knowing him I thought I found company. How wrong I was...

I guess there is no way that I could turn away from you. I can’t help though, but keep running. I keep resisting the urge to love you more and more each day. If I can’t have you fully and completely, I’d rather not have you at all. It is just a matter of choosing which path to take. And with this path we are right now facing, I am simply too scared for us. Weather is too precarious in our own universe.

You are still too good to be true for me. Many times I feel everything about you is temporary. It will all fade. It will all wane. I will lose you, later if not sooner.

my birthday came and went. nothing from him. not a single flower. no love letter. not a blog post. nothing. i do not take anything for an excuse. my thoughtfulness test is quite demanding. he didn't pass. not close to it.

and i thought he's different from the rest.

Will you be there when the flames die out and the fog remains? Will you be the same when things will change and the freshness gone? How long can you stay anyway? Will you be the one to love me when I have finished loving? What kind of love is it that you posses anyway?

I want to believe it's the same that I do, that I hold so close and dear in my heart. I want to believe that you will be there waiting at the end of forever. I do not want you to make any more promises though, it will spare you from trouble. It will spare me from pain.

I stay while I cannot be strong enough to leave. If ever I will never be strong enough to do so, you can leave anyway, when it's time for you to. I have been through so much pain, why can't I go through it again? I will surpass it once more.

I do not have the freedom to hope for you right now.

I feel so cold right now. And so alone. and so scared. I wish there is a way where you can be there for me all the time. But nobody can actually do that to anyone. And the more that I cling to you, the more that I find it difficult to let go.

Our situation is difficult, but not impossible. That's what I try to think every time I feel so hopeless this way. But deep inside of me I feel it is, indeed, an impossible situation.

Many times I feel that lingering and forever hoping things could work out for us, is such a criminal waste of time. Where are we heading anyway? Don't you think ours is such an embarrassing audacity to stick to what we feel and yet swim in our own putrid blood? How can we hold on to something so intangible?

I love you. But I am dying from each heartbeat.

it was one of my longest nights last nights. i lay wide eyed looking at the ceiling and thinking of you. i grimace from pain just thinking how we couldn't be together when all that we know is be in love with each other. life is so unfair that way.

i was trying to imagine a world when we are free to love and live our the dreams of our hearts. it's a lot brighter, a lot happier, a lot more perfect....if only no one will get hurt.

but what about our own hurts? until when can we bear them? what is in store for two souls lost in love and forever wandering in the star-dusty skies of passion and uncertainty?

sometimes i am like Juliet tired and wanting to give up. sometimes i am romeo desperate to make things work and be with you no matter what the cost. sometimes i am the potion that you take thinking it will not separate you from your love and yet bring about your death...

i wish we know better than just being happy with each other...then again is there happiness outside of knowing you and being with you?