I AM APATHY

Emotions are lies. Deception is reality. I am done believing we can stay the same. Pain has changed me. I used to think I was addicted to pain. But how wrong I was. I didn't really know what pain was, until I met you. Many thanks. You taught me well.

Stop telling me anything. I've had enough of your sweet talks. Stop giving me those crap called love. It is one great lie. I am apathy. Even just for the moment. If that could protect me from further pain, why not.

One day, I will be completely over, I would have learned the ropes. Perhaps I will love again. But by then, I would have seasoned my own understanding of it. I will rule love. It won't rule me. That's just the way it would be. I can never run away from it, crap as it is. It tastes so bitterly sweet I'm sure I would want to lick on it once in a while. But that would only be for my own pleasure. Not for anything else. Not for anybody else. Not for you. Never.

That's the way I now know, I'm suppose to treat men. They shouldn't be taken seriously. They should still be respected of course, even if they fucking don't know what the word means at all.

It was nice hearing your voice today. I felt an unfamiliar surge of excitement. Definitely not longing or anything of that sort. I think the kind of excitement a serial killer feels watching his victim bleed to death.

See you around the bend. Just make sure you stay on your side of the road. I'm not a good driver.

Why Should I Cry For You

By: Sting

Under the dog star sail
Over the reefs of moonshine
Under the skies of fall
North, north west, the stones of Faroe

Under the Arctic fire
Over the seas of silence
Hauling on frozen ropes
For all my days remaining
But would north be true?

All colours bleed to red
Asleep on the ocean's bed
Drifting on empty seas
For all my days remaining

But would north be true?
Why should I?
Why should I cry for you?
Dark angels follow me
Over a godless sea
Mountains of endless falling,
For all my days remaining,

What would be true?

Sometimes I see your face,
The stars seem to lose their place
Why must I think of you?
Why must I?
Why should I?
Why should I cry for you?
Why would you want me to?
And what would it mean to say,
That, "I loved you in my fashion"?

What would be true?
Why should I?
Why should I cry for you?

YOU ARE MY SWEETEST DOWNFALL