I’m standing here at a crossroads, looking around wondering how on hell I have come to reach this point. I am feeling so scared and so weary, things that I have been feeling for a million years ever since I met you. In spite of the bliss of loving you, I keep dying. I wish I can just freely tell you everything, without fearing that it will tire you, that it will push you away.


Until when are you going to be there? Until when will you tell me you love me? Until when can you stay? Will you really stay? I wish you will just go away. So I will have all the reason to give up and finally take my own course. I miss my independence. I didn’t know I could be this helpless and vulnerable. I do not want to feel scared forever.


I am one fragile, weightless dandelion being stripped and blown away by the wind. Piece by piece, my soul goes to wither. If only you can hold me together and keep me whole. How will our love let us live? Really live? I die from each heartbeat. I fade into this void of wanting and not having.