These days we are making love more, talking less. I am afraid. So afraid I cannot even begin to think what if this is just all about this, after all? I am saddened to think I am more of a fucking buddy than a real friend to him. Whenever I start to think of him leaving me in the middle of the road again, I get sick in the stomach. I don’t know how else I would cope if that happens. I have given up the fight already. I have thrown in the towel. I have given myself away to him, I am still giving myself away to him, and right now I am not sure how I could muster the strength to stop giving myself away to him. I am hooked. So hooked I find it hopeless.
Until when? Until he gets too familiar with me? Until he gets tired of me? Until there’s nothing left to discover about me? Until when will he stay? Until when can he stay? Till his own guilt will take its toll? And desires wouldn’t be enough to stick around anymore?
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