Dear God,

I’m so scared. Have mercy and forgive me for screwing up my life. Have mercy and forgivve me.I don’t know what to do anymore. I cannot look back. There is nothing to look back to.

I want to move on. Just move on and embrace a life ahead. But how? I am so tired. I’m sorry. I know I am the one to blame for all this. What will I do? I am happy with N. You can see that. And he is happy with me. More than happy. We are miserable with our respective spouses. What do we do?

Right now I am just tired. And discouraged. Is there a world out there for us? I want to slump in your arms. I want to feel safe and rested. I miss the warmth of your embrace. I miss those days when all I did was trust in you and not think of anything else but to love you …

Have mercy and forgive me … I have gone astray…