Lately I've noticed that you're becoming more and more like my husband...he used to have the same devotion, addiction, obsession towards me. He would always want to be beside me, to inhale the air next to me. He would look at no one but me, listen to no one but me, would say nothing but just look at me forever. I am scared of those things. Because I used to indulge in them, only to be hurt later. I know I shouldn't compare you to anyone. I know I shouldn't compare your feeling for me to anyone. But I just can't help but get scared. I am too scared to trust you. I am too scared to expose my heart yet again. Even if you've had me, I am holding back my heart because it has been so badly broken it is still actually trying to heal.

In spite of my endless qualms, I would be happy if you would stay the same, even if the fire has long been relinquished. Even if the songs have long since fade. Even if the rhymes wouldn't come anymore. I know things will change eventually. But even with just some smoke from the embers, I would be happy to breathe you in still.

I tried so much to make sense of what I fell for you, of what you're feeling for me. But I am getting tired already. I don't think things will ever make sense.