Never ending hell

Sakit sakit. Wala tupong. In here I will lay down and cry till there's no more tears left to cry. I keep crying, just crying but there's no more tears. I wish all this is just a nightmare. The pain keeps getting more and more intense the longer I stay with him. I wish I'd never wished for him before. I should have endured the pain no matter how hard it was that time. Now it's even more too hard to bear. There's too much ugliness between us already. Verbal, emotion, mental abuse. Lately there are signs it's going to be physical already. I can't bear it anymore. If only there is a way that we can end this already, without hurting each other. It seems never ending. Lord please help me. The only person I have loved so much is a different person now.