where are you? amidst all this present darkness, this present pain, where are you? i can still here the echoes of your promises. you did say you will never leave me. you did say you wanted to be there for me, and that you will be there for me. you did say you care for me. a lot. you did say you want me. you did say i meant so much to you. i need them now, i need those words. i need those reassurance.
i need you.
but why can't i freely open up myself to you, friends should be free to do that. why do i feel like you will dislike me if i start acting like a damsel in distress? i want you to be my knight in shining armour. haven't you realized that? what's wrong with being friends anyway? you can care for me, still. you can love me, still.
your desire for me shouldn't bring me pain. it shouldn't keep you away from a beautiful friendship. why must things change? why do they have to change? why are you abandoning me again. you promised me i would never lose you. and you made sure of that. why are you making it a habit to hurt me?
i must forget you. that's what you are trying to say. that's what you've been trying to say.
how do i do that, anyway? where do i start? could i ever do it? could i ever make it day after day? pain after pain?
are you even there? where are you?
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